Sunday, March 28, 2010

This book is a Lie.....

Things I know for sure

So Oprah has this section of her magazine titled Things I know for sure, in which she, and other celebrities she interviews, share with the world the twenty "Things I know for sure" (funny that). In honour of this self- indulgent act, I am also going to impart my knowledge on to you fellow bloggers and viewers of things that I know for sure.
20 Things I know for sure
1. Cricket is fucking gay
2. Failure is ALWAYS an option. Often the easiest
3. White people are the most persecuted people in the world
4. Don't worry about being Politically correct. No one really cares
5. Always hold a grudge..It's healthy
6. It's good to hate
7. Tomorrow will be Monday
8. Cats don't like baths
9. White people CAN NOT Dance
10.Black people are biologically cooler than white people..Don't fight it.
11. Even the water sold at McDonalds has calories
12. Asians put salt on their pinapple
13. ALWAYS run from the police. They are always at fault
14. Don't use anal beads...EVER.
15. Don't use solariums. Lie in the sun. It's free
16. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is just uncomfortable
17. Exaggeration is not lying
18. Jesus was black
19. Believe it or was Michael Jackson
20. Homosexuality is'nt real

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Shalom Blogging World

Mushi Mushi Bloggers

My name is @!#$%^&, and this is my first blog. As it is my first, I feel it is necessary to spend the next few hundred, maybe a thousand characters, filling you in about the inner workings of my life and mind.This may seem a little self-indulgent, but thats the way I roll.

So, as I said above, my name is @!$%^&. I am a twenty-four year old barely there arts student majoring in politics at the university of Melbourne. I am currently supporting myself on welfare, and thats the way I like it. I recieve a fortnightly payment from the Australian Government, under the scheme "youth allowence",which I happily spend on the following things

1) Train fare

2) Books of the erotic nature

3) Magazines of the erotic nature

4) Alcohol

5) Pornography of the DVD and internet subsciption kind

6) Gum

Thanks Centrelink. Now you may think that I am a incrediable lazy dole bludger, and you are probably right, however in my defense I did once have a job that lasted four years.... but I didn't like it. So I stopped. And that's that.

The university sector of my life consists of three days per week (I only go two), four subjects per semester, three essays/exams per subject, two textbooks per course, approx ten hours of study per week, two drip Lavazza coffees and sushi for lunch per day I attend university and four hours of using university paid for wireless to attend to my youtube, and redtube, love affair. Basically I'm saying that I don't have time for a job, and I haven't even explained the rest of the life.

Before I continue to the next sector of my life here is a little pic of a super duper cunt, whose
fame has skyrocketed because of this horrid photo.

I hope you all enjoy that.

Im losing interest with this. I ll get back to it later...

Love @!#$%^&